Who Has The Power?

“Someone once told me that the power in all relationships lies with whoever cares less. And he was right.” — Connor Mead, Ghost of Girlfriends Past

Teaching men to have Alpha traits is a combination of two primary aspects: Extreme Confidence and Frame control. I love understanding patterns, limiting beliefs, shit test, cocky and funny, etc. but all of these components are just reference points on a mental map that help you navigate an optimal frame and display maximum confidence. They are signals that help the conscious self fire and control the unconscious self till the unconscious has learned the mental frame so well that it can now navigate on auto-pilot.

Every interaction with another human being is a competition in frame control. Whoever has the strongest reality and displays this reality with the most charming and congruent manner wins. They effectively become the leader of the interaction.  The leader dictates how the interaction or relationship will unfold.

With that, let’s put you to the test. Below are several pictures. Based on this one moment in time, who has the power in the relationship (or interaction)? Who seems to be the follower? Do you feel the relationship will work out?  Why?

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2)

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4)

5)

6)

7)

8)

9)

10)

11)

12)

13)

14)

15)

16)

So how do you think you did?  Below are my thoughts.

1) This is a lotta bride.  Honestly, I am more than happy to help anyone at the gym trying to have a better body, but when I see a gargantuan specimen like this that still has that look of entitlement in her eyes it really pisses me off that we men have become so weak.  Anyway, She has the power.  Her frame is erect, head slightly cocked looking dead ahead with a self assured smug look on her face.  He is the follower.  He is leaning in with weak posture and a look of “I guess this is the best I could do” look on his face.  I don’t believe the relationship will work out.  Even though she is nothing to behold, she still had this beta marry her.  His weak demeanor means she will rule the nest, and while women say they like that, his weak displays of masculinity will rub her raw.  She is likely to divorce him within 10, after 2 kids, and then wonder where all the good men went.

2) Tougher call.  He is leaning in, but it is obvious he is making sexual advances.  She is turning her face in a coy or “playing hard to get manner”.  I believe she has the power in the interaction, but will likely submit to this players persistent onslaught.  That doesn’t, however, mean he will get the power or maintain the relationship.  Not enough information to really be able to tell about the future of the relationship.

3) I see this body language type of communication all the time.  Women turned slightly into the man, man fully facing the woman with undivided attention.  She has the power in the interaction, he is “try hard”.  Based on these dynamics, no chance on the relationship lasting and he is likely to get the “lets just be friends speech”.  Weak body language betrays a non-confident spirit.

4) He owns her.  Sexual sitting posture in public, where he is reclining and she is on point.  He is also amping the sexual tension communicating he can do whatever he wants to with her, but that he is in control and pacing the interaction.  She is following his lead.  This relationship will last as long as he wants if he maintains this frame.

5) She is in control and displays dominance by sitting over the man.  She is looking down on him, and he is leaning in like a docile lap dog.  I would expect them to have sex twice a month, and he has to call her “Mistress” when they do.  Relationship will last as long as she wants, and that just depends on how much she likes dominating him compared to her ability to replace him with better.

6) Ah, yes, big bad Brown.  Based on the photo, he owns her.  She follows him.  Relationship will last as long as he wants (and it did).  He could call her a year later, run minimal game and she would be with him again.

7) One of my favorites.  He is seducing her and leading her down a torrent of sexual emotions.  He has placed her in his lap, and based on the way she is sitting and where his arms are he is controlling and leading her.  She loves following him.  Relationship will last as long as he wants if he can maintain this frame.

8) Man boob anyone?  This is a classic example of a guy that could clean up very nicely who seems to be all “into” his mediocre girl.  He is leaned in, looking longingly up as he kisses her.  She kisses him but her body language is slightly turned from him and I think I can see one eye open as she reads the paper (which she didn’t even put down).  She is in charge, he is too happy to be with her.  The relationship will last for awhile, but eventually she will get tired of him following and she will “just need her space”.

9) This looks like a rather positive relationship.  He is more leaned back, she is leaning into him, looking up at him while he talks.  They both wear an easy smile and her eyes betray a little sexual tension.  He has the power, though just slightly (which is a good position for keeping the drama down.  A man with a perceived value well above his girls is accused of all kinds of jealous actions by his girl).  Relationship will last as long as he can maintain this upper hand and frame.

10) Another famous couple, and yes, we know how it ended.  Look at her, graceful, sexual with an easy smile on her lips.  Look at him, leaning in, trying to pull her a little closer and it looks like he is biting his lips.  Even though I know how it went down, from this picture, she has the power, and he is crumbling.  Relationship is doomed (was doomed).  Keep this in mind, just because you have money or fame, it doesn’t mean you are confident.  It is likely you have more confidence than the average guy, but do you have enough to compete with her frame?

11) Another famous couple that we already know the outcome.  Tom is an Alpha, and has proved it in many interviews.  He acted like a dumbass jumping up and down on Oprah’s  couching screaming how much he “Loves Katie Holme’s”.  Even us Alpha’s can get caught up in the moment.  From this picture they are evenly matched, with Tom having just a tiny bit more power.  He pulls her arm into his chest, and only slightly tilts his head while she leans slightly in and tilts her head more.  If Tom could have maintained his frame, or even amped a bit, he may have been able to maintain the relationship.  The jumping up and down on the couch, while fun and endearing, likely sealed his fate on the spiral down.

12) Unfortunately, this is the type of “couple” picture that is too easy to find.  He is leaning in way too much, pulling her in too close as if he is a scared little boy and she is his security blanket.  Look at her body language, erect and slightly leaning away with a hand on his chest, that in this pose almost looks like she is pushing him away.  She has all the power, and a girl in this relationship will bang an Alpha in the bathroom of the club, just because of the masculine energy he radiates.  Relationship is doomed with her dumping him, probably about 3 days after this picture.

13) To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;  This man has the power.  He is laying with his masculine energy radiating.  She is sleeping on him and I would guess she feels very secure.  While he holds her, it is a light “I am here touch” rather than the clingy “I can’t live without you” soul crushing pull in.  This relationship will last as long as he wants assuming he can maintain this frame.

14) This is the player, the PUA, the asshole and maybe the Alpha.  He is sitting in a loose but still erect and calm manner, while she seductively leans into him for his attention.  He looks off into the distance, while she studies him.  He owns her in this picture, and this is his relationship to lose.

15) Had to do this one.  He has the weakest body language, like he is holding onto her to keep other men away and to say “hey world, look at me, I’ve got a hot girl”.  I am not sure who this couple is, though based on how many copies there were on the internet, they are famous for something that doesn’t impact my life.  She has the power.  If he is famous, his fame will keep him in the game longer than this body language would communicate.  If this was prom, she would have broken up with him that evening – no later than the next day.  My bet is, she already dumped him.

16) This is an image that was given to me by a woman trying to describe how she wanted to feel in bed.  Notice the power of this man, holding her arm above her head, easily giving him access to her breast and throat.  This is an image of an Alpha man who knows he can have this little dove, but slowly eases into the interaction with a lot of “two steps forward, one step back” play.  He owns her, and will continue to own her if he can maintain frame.

So how did you do.  Did we hit upon some of the same things?  I bet you saw what I saw most of the time.  There may be points we disagree with, but do you agree we are at least 80/20?  80% of the time we agree on the same traits each picture communicated.

Why is that?

Because I believe we are hard wired to understand all of this.  I hate getting into the conversation of an Alpha would do this, or an Alpha would do that.  An Alpha does what he wants and achieves his goals.  He lives life more on his terms than anyone else.

And with that, you have all the tools you need already hard wired into your subconscious mind.  The problem is your mental road map has been distorted by poor guidance, media, advertising, and a lot of miscommunication in our education system and the work place.  To unleash your inner Alpha, you just need to remove the limiting beliefs, reframe your existence, develop unshakeable confidence, then present it to the world with a very “take it or leave it” attitude.  This can be a lot of work, or a minimal amount depending on what your current mental frame tells you about the world.  The first step is to realize you move through life everyday with your eyes half closed, operating on patterns that you allowed to be developed so you didn’t have to pay attention that much.

Start breaking these patterns.  Go a different way to work.  Order a different drink or meal.  Try a new path.  Anything so you can’t subconsciously coast through your day and the interactions in them.  If you do this, you may start noticing a world and communication operating below the world you thought was real.  You will feel energies you haven’t felt, see interactions different and find a new road map to live by.  Life is yours for the taking.