Typical Dating Questions From Guys

How can I tell if she is single?

Honestly, you can’t. I know of divorced women who still wear the wedding ring, and I know of married women who don’t wear a ring. I know of girlfriends that will take your number to get rid of you, and I know of girlfriends that will take your number to give you the opportunity to prove you are better than the guy(s) she is with.

If you didn’t know this, girls treat dating like a professional baseball teams relief pitching staff. You understand what I mean? You have a main pitcher, and his job is to dominate the other team and keep them from scoring. But if he starts messing up, throws too many balls (acts too beta) or walks too many batters (doesn’t demonstrate high value) or heaven forbids hits a batter (loses emotional control) then the manager will call up the relief back-up pitcher. This guy gets up and loosens up his arm by throwing warm up pitches (text her, emails her, calls her where she is responding about 20-30% of the time). This makes the manager feel secure that if the main pitcher screws up too much, back-up is readily available.

And that is why lot’s of girls give their number out when they aren’t single at all. Most of the girls I have been with during the last 14 years have had a boyfriend till they slept with me 2-3 times. Not every single one, but something like 80% of them. Some wise-ass is now going to say I only go after low value women with low self-esteem. Actually, most of these women had a college degree (or were in college) which included lawyers, executives, doctors, nurses, models, singers, marketing, sales, advertising as well as a host of waitresses and retail personnel. They covered most social economic backgrounds, living demographics, and home life scenarios. This really is how the average girl treats dating – and exceptions prove the rule.

Now, the first few times I woke up with a woman and THEN she told me she was married pissed me off. Last thing I want is some emotional man thinking I did him wrong and have him come shoot my ass out of jealousy over her. So I just got into the habit of asking, “Are you single?” OR “Does anyone else think they are dating you right now?” Even if they don’t tell you the truth, if you have learned anything about Eye Access Cuing you will be able to gage how serious their relationship is by where and how their eyes move.

If you so desire, and if you can make her feel more sexual attraction and tension, while demonstrating a perceived value higher than her value and the man she is with, she is likely to cheat. Not every girl every time, and logistics do come into play. But if she is away from her husband/bf on a business or social trip, and you make her feel attraction and sexual tension, and there is a place for her to fuck you without her friends/family/coworkers seeing her with you, then your odds are about 90%. This drops to about 70% if you are still in the same city as her man.

Why do girls cheat?

They are either emotionally unhappy with their current man or another man displayed more Alpha traits and allowed her to logistically sleep with him with minimal risk of being caught. Latest study is men cheat 3% more than women. This has not been the case that I have experienced in my life. The truth seems to me that women will cheat about twice as often as men and the fault can be found in the natural self preservation cycle of a girl on a self reported cheat test. That is to say each sex has a different view in how they feel society will judge them on cheating, men tend to exaggerate up, and women tend to selectively count. They also have a difference in how they each see the relationship and the damage of reporting a “cheat” may cause.

For example, if I say I am only casually dating a girl, but she wants exclusivity, she will see my being with another woman as cheating – and report it as so – even though I made no such promise of fidelity. To her the promise is implied because SHE wants it. This same girl, if she ever did win me, then cheated on me she would likely not report it, and deny any accusation of said cheating. This is to maintain her “non-slut” status, minimize any potential bodily harm and to minimize a loss of status or resources. I have seen a girl deny she cheated over and over even when my friend had video proof, it’s just how the sexes are wired.

How can I tell if she likes me?

She is talking with you without telling you to leave = she likes you (someone at work doesn’t count). If you aren’t being asked to leave immediately, then you have an opportunity. I have taken the most hostile shit test from a girl I just met and turned it around into a torrid loving one night stand relationship.

Me: “Hi, are you single?”

Her: “Why are you talking with me?”

Me: “I always enjoy sampling the native attitude.”

Her: “You’re an asshole.”

Me: “Thank you, do you always compliment men so fast… I can tell you love me.” (Pattern interrupt with an Embedded Command)

Her: Slight smile, “Pretty sure of yourself aren’t you.”

Me: Keeping intense eye contact, lean in a little and talk a little lower, “And dangerous.”

Now, I know this isn’t the answer you were looking for you. You were looking for the, if she is flipping her hair while tilting her head 32 degrees to the left while touching your arm and smiling answer.

As long as you are confident and can calibrate the interaction, then just assume the sale. Assume she likes you. If you are confident enough, you don’t worry about when to kiss a girl, or touch her, or escalate. You just lead and she will follow.

And if she doesn’t? If you try and she is repulsed and truly pulls away? You need to learn to calibrate her body language more, but just let the interaction go. Not everyone will like you, regardless of how Alpha, PUA, smooth, rich or any other adjective you can think of you are. Some people just won’t like you.

Why do girls like jerks/assholes?

This is a question I need to do a whole post or series of post on. There is a relatively short answer though – because of how he makes her feel. A lot of times, the actions that some guys define as “jerk-ish” are nothing more than a man deciding what he wants, what his limits are, and then communicating these values in a way that increases attraction and sexual tension.

For example, I will not date a girl with short hair. I don’t care how perfect the rest of her is. And when I have had girls with short hair try to convince me why I am wrong and why I should give them a chance, other men hearing the interaction thought I was a jerk and an asshole – including close friends. But it wasn’t a game. I really won’t date a girl with short hair. I wasn’t mean, I wasn’t putting her down even if I did tease her a bit. Primarily I was communicating I have standards, here they are, you don’t qualify but we can still be friends. And for a man not use to telling a girl “no” then these actions look like asshole behavior. His frame is literally “I would do anything for a girl like that” which is why you don’t have her.

And since attractive women almost NEVER hear “no”, this one quality makes me stand out well past most men. You tell me, which girl would you fuck?

I know, same girl. But short haired Miley does nothing for me. A guys gotta have his standards.

How do I let a girl know how I feel?

No need too, especially before you have slept with her. I don’t know where this crap of “tell her how you feel” came from, but I wish someone would have beat this out of my head before I turned 30. Telling her how you feel removes the mystery, anticipation and drama she craves in the interaction with a man. Telling her how you feel does not increase her feelings for you – only lowers them.

If you are increasing the sexual tension and amping attraction, then she will continue to grow in her feelings for you. On the surface she knows you “like” her, why else would you have approached, called, text, emailed or however else you communicated with her. So let’s increase that sexual tension by not letting her know exactly how you feel. When you feel that tension really peak, lean in, and tell her… “one a scale of 1 – 10, you are a maybe” and watch her eyes as they twinkle and glaze for a moment, then widen as she tries to figure out what you mean.
This is a perfect time to kiss her.

And trust me, unless you are in a committed relationship, telling her how you feel only makes her feel LESS attracted to you, not more.

How do I approach a girl?

Has anyone noticed every single one of these questions is rooted in not having confidence and placing too much value on the outcome of the interaction or on the girl?

Approaching is easy!

Walk up to her, remain calm, look her in the eyes and say:

“Hi, what’s good here to drink/eat/watch?” – lowest risk

“Will you hand me that [whatever]. Thanks, you take orders good, who trained you?” – low/medium risk

“Are you pregnant?” – medium risk with hot girls, will devastate an average girl’s ego

“Are you bisexual?” – medium risk

“Want to come to my place?” – high risk

Truly, if you understand attraction, sexual tension and you have confidence anything, and I mean ANYTHING will work.

Why doesn’t she want to go out with me?

She may have a boyfriend/husband/lover that she wants to keep.

That or it is one of the Three Main Reasons Men Get Rejected:
1) Your Vibe Lacks Confidence.
2) You Fail(ed) To Elicit Feelings In Her.
3) You Just Don’t Fit Her Archetype.

How do I ask a girl out?

I never ask a woman to do anything around being with me. It automatically sets her up in a judging (you) frame. I will typically just tell her when and where.

Me: “Meet me at 8:30 at [wherever] for drinks.”

The exception with this is when I have already had sex with her and want to give her the illusion of choice.

Me: “We can either meet at [Place 1] or [Place 2], which would you prefer.”

The key is to limit the choice to two places you want to go, then not care which she chooses. Never, under any circumstances, ask a woman what she wants to do more than 1 time. You are the man, lead the interaction.

Asking her what she wants to do on the first date is the kiss of death. You just decide what you want to do, invite her to join you through a “meet me here” text and let her either join your reality and have fun, or not.

How do I impress a girl?

You don’t.

Trying to impress a girl is a fool’s errand. It is akin to seeking her approval, or her validation. When we talk about displaying high value, it is not about impressing per se – and that was a concept that took me a long time to understand. Displaying High Value is more about the reality (your frame) you choose to live in and her qualifying (impressing) you in your established frame.

To have this girl truly want to be with you, you must display higher value than her, create attraction and make her feel sexual tension. Trying to impress her will likely lower all three of those values in her eyes.

What do I do if she plays “hard to get”?

In my opinion this is the most common shit test women will throw at men. They tend to play hard to get for a multitude of reasons: She really likes you and is scared you will hurt her, she doesn’t really like you and isn’t sure you are worth her time, she doesn’t want to be seen as easy, she gets a lot of attention, and you are not the first pick, Cosmo told her to do this so guys would like her more, etc.

How I handle the “hard to get” shit test depends on where we are in the interaction, and how bad I really want the girl. The more girls I have and the hotter the girls I have dated, the less I am willing to invest in any one girl. With that, let’s look at some common times for the HTG shit test.

On the Approach.

We have already discussed why men get rejected, so we just have to deal with it. If it doesn’t seem like she is into you very much, then just plow ahead. Amp the cocky & funny, use a single neg and tease her for her cold shoulder. You don’t need her permission to approach or to keep trying.

If you can tell she is into you, then you can be a little softer and show a bit more of an emotional connection. If she really likes you but is playing HTG she likely doesn’t trust you. Build rapport, create comfort, break the rapport and escalate sexual tension.

Never, and I mean never, be needy or overly concerned with the outcome with a single girl on the approach. There is no possible way she could have any value to you, besides her looks, before you get to know her. This is another reason girls get scared by a man trying too hard to impress her upfront. You don’t know anything about her and have not developed a connection.

After The Number

If she doesn’t text/call you back you likely didn’t build a strong enough connection with her during the initial approach. No worries, wait a week and send her a sexual open loop text. Send her a classy BDSM image with an open loop text like “You were right…” She will text back wondering what she was right about. Tease, flirt and follow the text game rules.

Either way, when she plays hard to get you don’t become emotional or tied to the outcome at all. I typically just take the frame that “she is a bratty little kid” and treat her as such. Sometimes, the effort just isn’t worth the reward, and I let these girls silently slip into oblivion. After about 4 months they will text with a “Hey, how are you?” to which I usually respond, “Who is this?”