Like should I give up hope on the guys I’m attracted to and just settle for a “nice guy”?

Firstly thanks for your blog and insights 🙂

I’ll be honest, I’m probably 98% looking for reassurance here, but I don’t know where I am on “the scale”.. I can’t go based on guys I’ve dated, because they could’ve been dating down.. And one ended up being gay. -_- oh and we were engaged until I found that out.

I’m single now and I’m scared I’m doomed. I’m 27 (28 [later this year] :(). But people think I’m 19-23, woop. I just worry that the standards I have are too high. I also know I have a lot of boundaries and inner beauty to work on. Plus I took heartiste’s market value quiz, which I probably shouldn’t have, lol and got discouraged. But as far as like outward appearance… Can you tell me where you think I’d be? I’m shorter .. Almost 5’2, bmi of about 20 (my highest).. Small on top but I have a good butt lol.. Attached are pictures, one natural, and two of me all dressed up.

Obviously I need some work on confidence 😉 but I’m getting there. But as far as just physical and as guys I should be focusing on, how do I know if I’m aiming too high or whatever? What scale of guy should I be focused on?? Like should I give up hope on the guys I’m attracted to and just settle for a “nice guy”? Or do the whole focus on my career crap (haha half joking there)

Thanks again, really appreciate what you do!

Nicole (name changed by request)

 
Nicole,

Thank you for the question and thank you for being one of the few girls that will allow me to post her picture with the response. Ladies and gentlemen, her face is blacked out but I assure you she is a looker. Warm smile, perfect teeth, big beautiful eyes, and a good body. This image you allowed me to post just does not show you off as much as that red dress, but it still gets the point across.

Every girl that writes me is attractive. Every single one! No, they aren’t all supermodels, but I can’t think of a single woman that sent me a picture that was unattractive. The lesson for guys is to step up, stop being scared or lazy and start meeting these women. They are dying to meet a dominant man.

Not a single girl has asked how to meet a taller guy…

Or a guy with more hair…

Or a richer man…

They all ask how to meet and attract a dominant man.

Now Nicole, on to your questions. You are attractive. You remind me of my current (and longest) girlfriend who is also 5’2. She has a slightly lower BMI than you, but just barely. You can see her on my about us page.

Heartiste is a fantastic writer that employees an incredibly swift and sharp humor. I, of course, do not agree with all of his teachings, but I do agree with him more often than not. Alpha is Alpha, doesn’t matter who writes down the traits.

I have not read his market value quiz. And I am probably not going to.

And neither should you. You define who you are and what your value is – not some quiz on a website, or an article in Cosmo or even the President of the United States. Your value is in your own hands – and mind.

 
With value, I tell both men and women:

If you are fat it is because you value being fat more than you value being thin.

If you don’t have confidence it is because you value safety more than you value adventure.

If you don’t have the life you want it is because you value the known more than you value growing.

Now let’s talk about why I am really taking the time to write you back…

I don’t know how much of my site you have read, but I do not believe in just teaching lines or routines. I prefer to teach men how to naturally become an Alpha. I also teach the foundations of how to change the underlying belief systems that we all have that dictates our life. We all have our challenges, but almost everything we see as an obstacle is something we placed in our life.

I have spent 20+ years reading and learning this – and I constantly continue to learn and strengthen my beliefs. I am not the creator of any of these large concepts, I simply learned how to take the truth and apply it to get what I want. So let’s recap at a high level.

Here are the topics I am referencing:
Subliminal Learning – Building Alpha Through the Subconscious
NLP Understanding Reality
What Value Do You Bring
What Does Success Look Like

You are a being of vibrations. All matter in the universe moves and vibrates at a frequency. So does your body and your mind. Whatever vibration you project is exactly what you will attract. This is the Law of Attraction.

Most people are governed by their habits, their fears and the opinions of others. Most people never try to live their lives differently – to break from where they currently are or move to where they want to be, because they have been convinced by someone in their circle (someone they love and value) have made them feel they can’t do it. They are literally living in the context of opinions that other people have of them.

Or at least what they believe they have.

Many people, just like you are doing, doubt themselves. At some critical point in your life, when you were on the cusp of having the courage to go get what you want, someone that you value made you feel like you couldn’t have it.

It probably wasn’t on purpose – as so much of our mental subconscious programming is an accident.

Now, would you like to know what your vibrational state is? It is very easy to see, but hard to change.

The Two Most Powerful Words In Language

During the course of the day we all talk to ourselves 1000’s of times. Most of this self-talk is negative. To determine your vibrational level starting listing out your self-talk every time you say “I am…” note what is next.

Most people make a mistake and say, “I am in idiot.”

Most people look in a mirror and say, “I am… so old, short, fat, ugly, etc.”

We get caught in traffic and say, “I am so unlucky.”

Whatever follows your “I am” the most is your vibrational state is exactly what you are going to attract.

When I first started learning this with seduction, all I wanted was a girl I thought was “hot”. But as I gained knowledge and wisdom I started focusing more on the details. Besides all of the biological aspect men and women are designed to desire, there are traits which are nothing but mental.

One of the absolute biggest turn-offs I have is someone that is constantly talking negative about themselves. I get absolutely repulsed by a constant barrage of negative. It’s hard enough for me to maintain my positive mental frame, but being around someone that is always negative is 10 times harder.

So not only did I stop pursuing or being around negative people, I taught myself to have better control over my subconscious mind.

I monitor my self-talk, what I read, listen to, watch or consume in the world. I will weigh the information, and if it is not positive or move me into having a better life, I discard it.

In my teachings, all of my subliminal programs start with “I Am”. Everything I talk to myself about is framed around the “I Am”.

I am the Alpha.
I am the prize.
I am strong.
I am healthy.
I am charming.

You asked: “What scale of guy should I be focused on?? Like should I give up hope on the guys I’m attracted to and just settle for a “nice guy”?” – The honest and simple answer is you go after exactly what you want. And you never stated exactly what you wanted.

Look, I don’t like girls with short hair – so I never pursue or spend energy trying to be with girls with short hair. As a matter of fact, I won’t even sleep with one “just for the fun of it”.

I like healthy athletic girls so I do spend more time investing in these areas. I have met more quality girls at the gym than I have ever met at a bar.

The real issue is your “I am”.

Think of the type of man you want. I know what most women find attractive – but list out your wants. Then see if your internal “I am” belief system matches up with what you think a man of that caliber would want?

I bet your current “I am” would not be one that would naturally attract a high value man for a long term relationship.

Change your “I am” and you will change everything in your life.

Start saying, “I am beautiful” and you will attract beauty.

Say, “I am healthy” and you start being healthy.

Say, “I am lucky” and you will attract luck.

And yes, you should also say, “I am the prize”. If you don’t believe it about yourself why should anyone else? If you don’t think you are a catch a high value man certainly won’t.

What follows these two words in your mind will dictate the type of life you will have. One of success or failure. Love or hate. Joy or misery.

Be Courageous

I thought I would add this, as really addressing and changing our “I am” subconscious routine is challenging and fearful for most people.

Do you know where “courageous” comes from?

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” – Brené Brown

What would change if you had courage?

What would your life be like if you decided not to care what people thought of you and you simply followed your heart?

What would your life look like if you quietly decided to have that confidence and courageously went after your goal?

You might fail some. You might have some pain. You might experience fear, doubt, setbacks and people that let you down.

But you are going to experience these anyway – you can never escape them in life. So why not just go for what you want? And if you really want something, look at and change your “I am” to fit.

I do hope this helps.

Alphax