How to make the shift so girls chase you.

A reader ask a very insightful set of questions:

“I have read your ebook and many of the articles on your website recently and I think it is great but I have some questions for you if you dont mind. Before I found your website I was reading about David DeAngelo, Brent Smith etc. I know you and them are preaching about confidence but what you think about energy that they are talking about, of course I know if you got confidence that you will give good vibe when talking to people but they are talking about entering a club (for example) and that all people there notice you because of your energy, what are your thoughts about it?. My final question. I am from Europe and although I know men and women are biologically wired as you describe on you articles I would say that social programming is A LOT stronger here in my country (Croatia) than in USA, France for example, women are easier in bigger countries, I got tons of feedback from my friends when they travel. Its very rare here that woman approaches you and chase you (it’s always the unattractive ones). I have no problems in atrracting hot girls to me but what bothers me is that I know they want me but they are always expecting that I initiate everything (chat,drinks,approaching whatever you can think of, they always want few dates, meetings whatever, they wont give it easy) when I ask them questions about dating like if you are attracted to me why dont you approach or pursue and their answer is that they want to but they dont do that because they are afraid that they will be too easy for me then. I’m kind of guy who doesn’t compliment girl, buy her drinks, chase them, send them messages etc, my friends are telling me go date them, buy her drinks, go into cinema and my favourite “omg she is so hot, why didnt u take her phone number”. You can say now just do that and have them but I don’t want to ask numbers, waste too much time on them because to be honest with you I find almost every woman boring, got hard college so I want something like you, first sex then drinks whatever, so my question is how to make that changing shift, some girls (hot ones) say that they dont want to be easy so people cant consider them sluts, thanks”

Thanks for the questions. There are several parts, so let’s run through each:

“I know you and them are preaching about confidence but what you think about energy that they are talking about, of course I know if you got confidence that you will give good vibe when talking to people but they are talking about entering a club (for example) and that all people there notice you because of your energy, what are your thoughts about it?.” – It is true. I have experienced it many times, just walking in with the right attitude has created an atmosphere where girls have approached me. Now, to be honest, it usually happens more after I start interacting, but I have had it with no interaction. Many times I have written that I am not the kind of man that has the looks where women notice me and approach me. I have a buddy that does have those looks, and I have seen the amount of women that approach him – I just don’t have looks like that.

But when I am out, easily interacting with women and men, it creates a curious mystery as to who I am. The more girls that I talk to and flirt with, the more they get attracted, the more attracted they get, the more other girls want to know who I am. So the truth of this energy of walking into a bar includes the interactions around you. I make it a habit of interacting with everyone – so if the bouncer is shaking my hand, the door girl is blushing from some sexual comment I made and the group of girls in front of us are all laughing and focusing on us, then a lot of the other people in the bar are going to notice. And that energy continues to build and pull more people in. But it all starts with your energy and interactions.

It is very rare for me to quietly walk in, not interact, sit in the corner alone and have a girl approach. I have to bring the energy with me to have the interactions.

“Its very rare here that woman approaches you and chase you (it’s always the unattractive ones).” – I have never been to Croatia, so I won’t pretend to be an expert on your country or culture. With that, I have been to Russia, Asia, Germany, and all over the Caribbean. I have seen the same social dynamics play out over and over, so I feel it is safe to say it is a human trait.

You have the answer in your statement – it’s always the unattractive ones. Your social market value is above theirs, and if they feel attraction to you, they approach or chase you. It is the exact same with beautiful women. If they feel enough sexual tension and attraction to you, they will chase you. This is why being a challenge is so important. You are naturally a challenge to the girls you don’t think are attractive, but I bet your energy changes when you are dealing with a beautiful woman. This subtly pushes your social market value down compared to her – and this is something she feels.

It may take you opening her, challenging her, teasing and flirting then pulling back a bit all while flirting and teasing other women, but when she really starts to feel sexual attraction to you she will chase you. Every single time. And if she isn’t? Then her attraction for you isn’t high enough yet. She may be dating and sleeping with you, but if she isn’t calling, texting or wanting to spend time with you more than you want to with her, she isn’t attracted enough yet. Just keep amplifying the attraction and she will.

“I know they want me but they are always expecting that I initiate everything…” – When I first became a decent pickup artist this bugged me too. After a time though, I realized that by initiating everything I not only increase her attraction, but the attraction of other girls around. It builds social proof and helps you naturally boost your leadership personality. And as I said, once she is attracted to you enough, she will start initiating and chasing. You just have to really build that deep desire in her.

“I ask them questions about dating like if you are attracted to me why dont you approach or pursue and their answer is that they want to but they dont do that because they are afraid that they will be too easy for me then.” – First, don’t ever ask girls these types of questions. It makes you look insecure. In this case, they sort of gave you a real answer. The other part they aren’t telling you is they want a take charge Alpha – the guy that knows what he wants and goes and gets it. She has to feel deep, gut level sexual attraction along with you being focused on your own desires to be seen as an Alpha – and when she does feel this she will chase. Without some serious fame (like a rockstar or actor) it’s hard to be seen as an Alpha without initiating or taking control.

Now, a girl that see’s you interacting with several other women, with all of the women feeling attraction and flirting back may be sufficiently interested to approach you and start flirting. This happens to me all the time. But keep in mind, I was interacting and flirting with other women and she saw those interactions. So even though I didn’t interact with her, I was interacting.

“…I find almost every woman boring, got hard college so I want something like you, first sex then drinks whatever, so my question is how to make that changing shift, some girls (hot ones) say that they dont want to be easy so people cant consider them sluts…” – Now this is the question isn’t it? The answer is you build this life. Everything I discussed above is a part of it. Before my accident, I rode with a group of bikers almost every weekend. We would hit the same 15 different bars (with a couple of new ones) every weekend. People at these locations would see me interacting with the hot girls I knew, the men I talked to and anyone else that was around. I was accepted by the outlaws, and the weekend bikers. I carried myself with a lot of personal power without trying to challenge every man to prove I was tough. New girls that saw these interactions would feel attraction, and usually approach or at least ask someone they know to introduce us.

To develop “first sex, then drinks” you simply must learn to really push the sexual tension and attraction buttons. There is a reason I ask new girls I meet if they are bisexual. Regardless of their answer it sets me apart as a powerful sexual man. No matter if they like it or not, it is who I am. And that works for me. Building a life where women want to have sex with you without you taking them out on dates is one where you learn to build massive amounts of attraction in her in the shortest possible time. It requires saying very challenging and sexually charged comments with absolutely no fear of loss or rejection. You must be made of iron, with a personality that delivers these sexually charged comments with charm.

A girl that meets you out at a bar and fucks you in the bathroom is one that felt very sexually charged and attracted to you. I don’t have the looks to pull this off, so I built my personality, and that sounds like what you are doing. Just keep pushing the boundaries and try to build attraction rapidly. You will fail some, but when it becomes second nature you will have the life you want.

Girls that really feel sexual tension and attraction with a man do not think about being seen as a slut. My experience has taught me they WANT to be his slut.

Hope this helps,
AlphaX

UPDATE

“Thank you for answering my questions, I can see things even more clearly now, I wish there were more people like you to help others to understand how things are really working in the world.”

Anytime,
AlphaX