The Approach

So why would we discuss Rapport, Cocky & Funny, Eye Contact, Frames, Hygiene and Social Proof all before we discussed the approach? Because all of these are aspects you need to be aware of before you approach any attractive woman.

If you already have high Social Proof, then the approach is a lot easier. How about great Eye Contact – hell, she might approach you. If you have a strong “frame (mindset)”, which women can see in your body language, she might also approach you.

And when either you or her approach, you had better be able to talk with her and build rapport.

My time with students has taught me that most guys want a list of lines that they can use to “approach” women. If you are thinking this way, than you have already missed the bigger picture. It is about Attitude, not lines.

 
Also, in the beginning, I simply wanted to get phone numbers so I could set up a coffee date and get to know her. Around level 4 is where I learned I could just keep pushing their attraction and have them right then.

With that, let’s discuss the typical progression and growth of a man learning to approach women.

Level 1 – You Suck – The Weak Approach

After my divorce, I was scared to approach women. I did not feel attractive, I was out of shape, and was literally devastated by the rejection from my ex-wife.

But I decided I was going to master this part of my life once and for all. After only a few weeks of reading human behavior, I decided to start implementing the practical knowledge I had read.

So my first approach was a group of girls sitting at a table in a restaurant joking and cutting up.

I walked up, had strong eye contact with the one I liked, and said “Hi. I know this isn’t the right time, since you are enjoying time with your friends, but you look like someone I would like to get to know. May I have your number?”

My legs were shaking, and I am half sure my voice cracked.

She was nice, and smiling, but said “No thank you, I am seeing someone”.

What a surprise! Knowing what I know now, this is a very standard response from a girl when you approach weakly.

Wherever you start, just know you will get better with practice.

Level 2 – So-So – The “I’m Busy” Approach

After a few months, my game changed.

I had been reading and studying, plus I spent about 20 hours a week making myself talk to everyone around me, and flirt with every girl I met – 18 to 100 years old. I was forcing myself to gain confidence and become a much better communicator.

Level 2 approach was similar to how I approached in Level One, and did get numbers.

I would walk up and say, “Hi. I am very busy/late at the moment, but you look like someone I would like to get to know. Give me your number and I will call you sometime.” Then just hand them your phone for them to put the number in.

Success rate for getting the number was something like 40% – assuming a strong frame, smooth delivery, and confident eye contact and voice tone.

With that, about half of them never returned a phone call or text, but I did get some dates (more on this later). So about 2 out of 10 approaches ended with me getting a number, setting up a time, and meeting them out.

By asking for the number, but telling her upfront you are busy, you are demonstrating a non-needy attitude, but still showing interest. Not a bad approach, but nothing magical either.

SIDE NOTE: I also modified this level a bit, and this is where I want you to start. I will demonstrate after level 5.

Level 3 – Much Better – The Cocky & Funny Approach

Level 3 is where I thought my game was getting tight.

This is where I started opening with a Cocky & Funny line. The lines changed based on the situation, but you will get the jest of this one.

One weekday I was dropping of my dry cleanings when I spied an attractive young red head.[ Members Only Content – please sign up to view it… ]